In the culture we now live in, it's pretty sad that chivalry seems to be completely dead. Dating is done, right? Seriously, who goes on dates anymore? It's all about getting a number or snapchat and seeing how far you can get with whatever girl you find yourself around. I think its a tragedy most single guy’s don’t actually take a girl out to have any real conversation anymore.
If you take a girl out and try to show her you're more than some guy looking to just get in her bed, odds are, you're going to surprise her. Now, I may be old fashioned, but a nice dinner is worth the money to get to actually know someone.
As a guy on a student budget it can be difficult doing the whole "real dates" thing. Stuff costs money. What's the real difference though? Treat the both of you to a nice meal or have some kind of interaction outside of phones.
The more I look around me these days, the less I see guys treating women the way that they should have been raised to. What happened to paying for dinner and dates? What happened to getting her chair for her and holding the door? Where did we lose that touch of chivalry? When did it become the norm to just text or snapchat a girl, and expect her to cater to your every whim?
I think we've lost our ability to communicate. We don't take the time to actually get to know someone anymore. This is why we see marriages and relationships in general failing at a 50% rate. Men no longer feel the need to get flowers, chocolates, etc...and if we do, we come off as stage-five wack-jobs and cligy weirdos.
If he takes you out to a nice dinner, it's because he’s a nice guy, and is looking forward to spending time with you somewhere other than your phone. Men are getting away with putting in bare minimum effort and receiving surface level relationships or hooking up on a whim.
Yet, even outside or the relationship pool, we, as men, have forgotten our place. For a lot of guys, dating has become a recreational sport, a game of comparing scores and numbers, instead of enjoying your company and making memories that will last a lifetime. C.S. Lewis said, “God would not have anyone waiting unless he saw it was good for them to wait." You're not waiting on accident. Your singleness is not God’s way of depriving you; it’s God’s way of changing you.
As a single person you probably a lot of free time. At the moment, more than you will have in any other season of your life. The last thing you should do with it is waste it. Instead, use it wisely by spending intentional time in Scripture and prayer, serving your Church and community, growing in your career, learning new trades, reading books, building healthy friendships, and potentially serving in missions fields. Grow in your faith, work on making yourself the best you you can be for “Mrs Right.” God will do the rest.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (Ecc. 3:1)
We forget this often and often we need to be reminded of it daily. God knows exactly what he’s doing. In fact, the desire to be intimate is not at all incidental. Our God already knows the future of our lives. He is working to have all things in your life come to be good and to His glory. His timing is always perfect. We need to trust in God’s providence. We need to trust that his purposes will come to pass in our lives.
“those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord have never forsaken those who seek you.” (Ps 9:10)
Thriving in that time of singleness happens by fixing our eyes on the One who has no sin. Look at Jesus as your source of joy, hope, purpose, and meaning. He is the only one who can give you what you really need.
These periods of singleness might be a waiting season, but it doesn’t need to be a wasted season. I wish I had figured this out sooner! I wish I had not wasted years trying to find my joy and purpose in someone who I just couldn’t seem to please! Many singles are discouraged and despondent, but guys (and girls I suppose, this advice on singleness carries into the feminine realm as well), don't have to be that way. There is so much joy, wisdom, treasure, memories, and experiences to be experienced while you can. So don’t waste this time, use it well for what will last!
“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecc. 3:11)
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