A light shines in the dark

“Why

Why do they do it.

Why do they do hit.

Why do they throw me around like this.

Why.

Why do they say it.

Why do they yell and curse and spit.

Is it something I said?

Is it something I did?

What have I done to deserve this?

Inside and out

I'm broken, bruised, beaten, and bombarded

By pain

By a thought

Every word hits like a shot.

Alone.

Left alone

Left alone to suffer

Alone to cry

Their happiness is hurt, but why?

I don't deserve this.

My floor is stained with tears, 

My thoughts by nostalgia of days when I was wanted, when I wasn't consumed by fears.

I want to fight them, I want to scream,

I want to make them hurt like they hurt me!

I want to pull out my hair, I want to run

I want to somehow not care

I hate that they hate me

Yet I can't help but agree...

Do I matter? 

Does anybody care?

It's not fair

So do I dare?

Dare to care?

To open up, to share?

No

No one will stop

Nothing will change

I can't stop these thoughts in my brain.

Maybe I do deserve this...

What's the point

Why try

Their inquiries are hollow, worthless, and dry

I don't belong

I'm not welcome anymore

I can't even get up off of the floor

They say I'm crazy

That I'm weird

That I don't belong here

Of course I am

Of course I don't

I could protest

But I won't

Nothing matters

I can't get away

My own inadequacy haunts me every day

There's no way out...

I can't go on...

I do deserve this…”

Think twice about what you say, or what you don’t, go out of your way to include the outsider, make sure to say something, anything, from a “good morning, how are ya?” To “hey man praying for ya.” You never know the impact of what you say, after all, the heart is the only muscle in the body that can be uplifted or crushed with a single word. A little kindness can go a long way, it can even save lives. I can personally attest to (as well as thank) many people giving me kind words, loving hugs, and meaningful prayers. Things will always be bad, but its only in the darkness that you can truly appreciate the splendor if His light. If you are reading this and think no one understands, or cares, you aren’t alone. I have been through Hell and back, and here I stand. If you truly want to change your situation, things can and will get better. Suicide isn’t an answer to a problem, it merely transfers and multiplies the pain you feel onto the shoulders of all who love and care for you. 1-800-273-8255